Two Can play That Game
by karma mendoza
Summary: read the story. this is my first fic. please be kind.
1. Default Chapter

Not With MY WIFE You Don't

Two Can Play That Game

Meet Mary-Alice and Don Charleston. Happily Married couple. Second mortgage almost paid off. Two daughters, who had grown, Life was as perfect as it was going to get. What more could they

Possibly want? One day Don comes home, Mary-Alice is not home. So Don waits and waits.

Finally Mary-Alice comes home drunk. "Where were you"? Don Demanded.

" Ahh wasth fill ling ta empty hoooles in my lifish". Mary-Alice replied drunkenly.

On that note she stumbled up to bed, Don watched her. He went through her coat pocket and found a man's name and number on a matchbook cover. He was furious with her. But decided to leave it. He slept on the couch.

Several weeks have passed. His wife not being there when he came home from work was beginning to upset him. It was time for desperate measures.

In a local restaurant Don sits nervously. 

" I just don't know what to do". Don said helplessly. Byers watched him sympathetically 

"This is not our area of expertise, I'm afraid". Byers said soothingly.

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SOME PASSING PHASE HERE"! I'm talking; I'm talking about 

My life here, my wife". My beautiful… he breaks off and starts to cry.

"NOW buddy". Frohike started tightly, he smiles at him. "I know a little something about women, and all I can tell you is, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make 'em drink".

Don stared at Frohike, "That's it, she's been coming home drunk, she stays out late".

"Please guys". Byers and Frohike look at each other. They agree to help him.

The Blue VW Van was parked out side a pink and White House

The van had a banner across it. "Top Notch Blinds And draperies. The four get out. There is a signpost on the corner, unnoticed by them. Jimmy looks around.

"What do I do"? He asked. A roll of blinds is placed on his shoulder. Byers whispers to him

"We're going to find out if this man's wife is cheating on him; just pretend to be putting up these blinds. The three leave him standing there. Holding the blinds. 

Across the street there is Mrs. Spencer, a farsighted neighbor. She calls the police nervously.

"Hello this Mrs. Spencer. I live at 445-rosebud lane. Listen, there is a man across the street. He's carrying a bazooka! Yes, yes a bazooka!! Please hurry"! Jimmy takes the blinds off his shoulder. Then police, their weapons drawn, surrounds him. A policeman steps forward, and

Starts yelling. "FREEZE, DON'T MOVE, put down the bazooka nice and easy"!!

Jimmy mouths "Bazooka" "put it down now"!! The cop yells again. 

Jimmy drops the blinds and puts his hands in the air. 


	2. Two Can Play That Game 1b

Two Can Play That Game 2/

Two Can Play That Game 1 b they are back at the warehouse. The other three are barely talking to jimmy. He feels very bad.

"Come on guys, how was I suppose to know it was a crime watch area?" Jimmy pleaded with them. "Oh I don't know, maybe the signpost that read "Neighborhood crime watch" gave it away"! Langly retorted irritably. Jimmy hung his head. Frohike looked up

From his work. He is gritting his teeth. "All you had to do was pretend to be hanging up some blinds". "Nothing more, nothing less". Byers disgusted finally spoke " You blew our cover jimmy,

I told you to act normal". Jimmy tried to defend himself. "I thought I was." Langly came up to him. "Oh really, let me refresh your memory, Ok?" "This was you, Jimmy". Langly lies on the floor 

Kicking and thrashing. "You'll never take me alive"!! Langly gets up and walks away. Jimmy just stands there. He notices Frohike's leather jacket. Frohike looks up. "Don't do it Buddy". Frohike 

Warned. Jimmy puts it on. " Awww come on just want to see you laugh." Jimmy said smiling. He dances around flexing his arms.

"TAKE IT OFF!" Frohike shouted jimmy continues to dance around. Jimmy starts singing. Frohike is on his 

Feet. His eyes spitting fire. "I SAID TAKE IT OFF, I'M NOT FREAKIN' KIDDING!!" Jimmy flexes his arms again and pretends to be doing a commercial. "Hi once upon a time, I used to be a weakling, always having my girlfriends stolen from me at the beach. Having sand kicked in my face, until I said no more, and joined Armstrong bodybuilding. Now I can tell you I am no longer a weakling." He flexes again, the lining in the jacket tears. 

He turns to Frohike "Oops". Frohike stares at him stunned.

He lunges towards him. "Now, Frohike started, let's see Armstrong save you now"!! He grabs jimmy's throat and starts 

Strangling him. Byers and Langly run over and pull him off.

A few Days Later they meet with Don Charleston again, at the same restaurant

" I heard about the complications you had." Don remarked.

"How did you find out?" Jimmy inquired.

"A neighbor." Was his reply. The three turn and glower at jimmy, which makes jimmy look away. Byers spoke to change the subject "if only we had more to go on". Don remembered the matchbook cover. " I almost forgot this". He said as he handed it to them.

They didn't know what to make of it, so they decided to see an expert.


	3. Two Can Play That Game 1C

Two Can Play At That Game 1 C

Two Can Play At That Game 1 C

Cameo appearance By Frank Black. My apologies

If I offend any Millennium or Frank Black fans out there.

It was all in good fun and I hope it's perceived that way.

Frank Black greeted them, shaking their hands as he spoke.

"I knew it was you, the minute you called."

Jimmy steps forward in amazement " I know who you are. Oh my Gawd

You're that guy that can see thing as they actually happened. He exclaimed.

Frank looked at the other three. "Jimmy, VAN NOW! Frohike intervened.

They hand him the matchbook; he is concentrating on it. He finally speaks

" I got something!" "Really?" Byers exclaims.

Frank shakes his head "No, not really, I got nothing". They start to grab the matchbook; Frank stops them "wait!" " No it's gone now". 

Langly gets impatient "what's gone?" Langly yells

Frank begins "oh the time my wife and I went to the Bahamas, this was before my daughter was born, and the sand was so white, so-".

They grab the matchbook and walk out. Frank sits talking to himself.

"That was rude, I never saw that coming."

The men were right back to where they started.

Inside the van:

"Total waste of time." Langly sneered.

"Yeah, like he knew who we were the minute we called, but couldn't tell us anything 

About the matchbook." Retorted jimmy, trying to get on everybody's good side.

Frohike stares ahead as he spoke "and do you know why that is?"

"No why". Jimmy answered.

"Caller ID." Frohike stated.

They go where the matchbook originated from .it was a small bar.

Several men were playing pool. The bartender looks at it.

"Yeah, it's our matchbook, though I don't recognize the name written on it.

"We're helping this man with his wife." Byers says trying to be helpful.

The bartender replies "If you could describe her, then I could tell you.

I don't forget a face". Then it hits them forty eight hours on the case and they have

No clue of what she looks like. 


	4. Two Can Play That Game 2 a

Two Can Play This Game 2 a  
They go to Don's house, he gets excited.  
"Did you find her?" Frohike is tired when he speaks  
"No and we won't if we don't know, WHAT THE HELL SHE LOOKS LIKE!"  
Then it strikes him too. "Oh my gosh, I know what I forgot to give you, the picture, it'll be just a second.   
Frohike turns to jimmy " you sure you're not related to him?"  
Jimmy gives him a funny look and shakes his head no. Don comes back with the picture  
Frohike looks at it, " that's a Chihuahua."  
Don grabs it and runs back, he comes out with another picture.  
Frohike looks at this one "this is a gorilla."  
"Crap!" Don runs back. Frohike turns to the others.  
"See I don't think he even knows what she looks like."  
He finally comes back with the right one.  
They go back to the bartender, who studies it before speaking.  
"Yeah I've seen her in here a few time, but there wasn't any man with her. She mostly sat and drank alone." This puzzles them completely. "I'm sorry I couldn't be of any help to you, I hope you find   
Your Harold C. Notes." The bartender added. They thanked him and left.  
In the same restaurant Mary-Alice Charleston is talking with Yves. She is crying.  
" I don't know what to do, I made up that phony name, to make him jealous, I guess to make him  
Pay attention to me." "And now it's backfired?" Yves asked.   
Mary-Alice wiped her eyes, and nose " Yes, you know, I could see it if, he got jealous and found another woman, but four men." "Could you describe these four men?" Yves asked.   
The woman described them clearly, and as she was Yves eyes became wide.  
She knew who these four men were, but said nothing. They go back to the warehouse. Langly goes through the D.MV. " Nada on a one Mr. Harold C. Notes." Langly says looking up from the computer.  
"Maybe he doesn't drive." Stated jimmy. They look at him. " Even if he didn't drive, they would still at least have a state ID card on him" Byers finally spoke. He continues " and there is nothing on him."  
They decide to see their other source.   
FBI Headquarters Cameos by fox Mulder,  
(My apologies in advance if I offend any xf fans)   
Fox sits in front of his computer. " Nope we got nothing on him either, He Probably doesn't even have a Block Buster card." Frohike changes the subject " You have one don't you"?   
Fox looks at his friend " yes, but I can't rent anything". "Why?" Frohike asked. As he played with the stapler. Fox's eyes became wide as spoke " I owe 'em money". The other two become engrossed as he goes on about blowing the cylinders in his car. Frohike goes off in search of his partner. He finally came to their office and opened the door; another woman was sitting there. Frohike was shocked "you're not Scully!" The strange woman looked up  
"No, I'm not." "Where's Scully?" Frohike stammered   
" I don't know, I'm a temp". Fox goes into the office and ushers him out.  
" You got some really snotty temps, I don't like her." Frohike said disappointed.  
"Yeah well they didn't like my temp either". Fox answered.   
They left still unable to find an answer  
  



	5. two can Play that game 2b

Two Can Play That Game 2b

Two Can Play That Game 2b.

They go back to the warehouse. Yves and jimmy are working on a puzzle of sorts.

"Any luck?" Jimmy asked enthusiastically 

Frohike tired "nothing'."

Yves spoke up, " I came up with something." 

She took the name Harold C Notes and tore it apart. And then it became Don Charleston.

"Queen of the anagrams strikes again". Langly sighs disgusted.

Yves blinks at him " you can't be that stupid, Langly." Byers looks at the paper.

"This is totally amazing, his wife only gave the impression that she was cheating."

Frohike eyed him "yeah, but why?" "To make him pay attention to her." Yves retorts, then realizes she let the cat out of the bag. Byers, Langly and Frohike stare at her.

"How the hell did you know this?" Frohike demanded. Yves decided to come clean.

"I have been talking to his wife." "What?" Came from Byers and Frohike.

"Langly came forward. " You mean you knew about this, the whole time, while we've been dragging our butts all over town. You bitch!" Yves wipes her face " Please Langly you're spitting on me."

They pull together and get an idea.

The men are at Don and Mary-Alice's house. 

Don is excited. "Well anything. " "Oh yeah." Was Frohike's response.

Yves come over with Mary- Alice. 

Don turns his back on her. "So Mary-Alice, did we get tired of our secret lover?" he asked coldly.

Mary-Alice laughs.

"What's so funny?" Don yells. Mary-Alice comes up and puts her hand on his shoulder.

"There was nobody else, silly". Don spins around "what?"

Mary-Alice trying to subside, her laughter, "There was nobody else."

Don is shocked "But the name on the matchbook."

" It was your name the whole time, I just turned the letters around. To make you think I was having an affair." Don is relieved, then asked "why?"

Mary-Alice then tells him. "I got lonely, Don. You were always so busy with your company."

Don embraces her. With heart felt gratitude, and speaks. "Well not anymore. From now on you are the most important thing in my life". They kiss. 

The four guys and Yves look on and smile.

The End.

Deleted Scenes.

Chapter 1

The Van is parked outside The Charleston's house. The four men get out.

Jimmy is dressed like a phone operator. 

"I don't feel right about this"

Byers comes around puts a hard hat on his head, and a utility belt around his waist.

"We have to find out, if this man's wife is cheating on him. All you have to do is pretend you're working for the phone company." Byers says irritated.

Jimmy stands there, and then "umm Byers

Byers comes back, even more irritated. "What is it Jimmy."

Jimmy embarrassed, " I gotta go to the bathroom."

Chapter 5 

They go back to the warehouse. Jimmy and Yves are doing a puzzle of sorts.

Kimmy Belmont sits watching the TV.

"Any luck?" Jimmy asked enthusiastically.

Frohike, the first to enter spoke. "No, upon seeing Kimmy, and what the hell is he doing here?"

Kimmy, who sat tilting his chair back answered, "TVs busted". 

Frohike head hurting yelled " well can you turn that slop down, or off, please? "Preferably OFF."

Yves finally spoke amongst the chaos. " I think we might have solved your riddle."

She took the name Harold C Notes and tore it apart. And then it became Don Charleston.

Byers was amazed " Of course, of course, I see it now, that is amazing". "So in other words,

She only wanted to make her, husband think she was cheating." "How Cleaver is that"? 

Frohike finally speaks "Wow, three days ago, you had hardly nothing to say, and now you can't say enough". Byers got offended " I talked, in the Van." After listening to "slow down, holy Christ. Jesus,

And my all time favorite " my back hurts, be careful next time." Langly came in and sat down.

Frohike turns and looks at him and then back to Byers, then back to Langly. "Where the hell have you been"?

Byers looks up, " I thought you came in with us". " I guess I got left behind. Was Langly's reply

Byers shakes his "all righty." " Well, whatever, I thought he fell in a whole somewhere". Was Frohike's response. Byers squints " that was really weird, I'm sorry, I thought it was awfully quiet in that corner."

Langly sat up " what's going on?" Byers filled him in, "well Kimmy's TV is busted, Yves broke the code to The Name Harold C Notes, now back to the rest of the show.


End file.
